How Soon is Now?

I believe that the school holidays are designed by quantum physicists and contain a special ability to bend spacetime in order to confuse the hell out of us.  The children are bewildered as to what day it is and learning to cope with boredom despite being surrounded by Christmas presents, and parents are trapped in a fug of over-indulgence from eating plate upon plate of rich, lovely, food and deciding it's a great idea to finish the night off with a double Baileys, and then a Gin and Tonic, and perhaps the last tree chocolate.  And some twiglets.  And the port.  And if the port's open then we might as well get the cheese out....feel your waistline expand overnight!

Essential School Holiday reading

Our son returned to pre-school today and my husband has been working over the festive period but full equilibrium is not restored until I go back to work and our daughter goes back to school next week.  I am trying my hardest to re-engage but it feels an effort to even look at the laptop as the screen of choice for the past two weeks has been TV-sized for the never-ending feast of movies.  

Getting up in the morning has drifted from the regimented to the frankly, slack.  After the huge build up and early waking caused by the promise of presents and then the days spent eating more sugar than you will admit to their dentist and running around like a lunatic clutching toys as the tree lights flash in techno timing, the children are completely exhausted.  First day back at school and work is going to require some serious prep and negotiation to make sure we get there on time and in the right clothing.  It will be a very bad day indeed if she wears my leopard print kitten heels and I wear her princess dress.

Today, after venturing out to the shops to try to find something that is neither 40% saturated fat or 40% proof for our cupboards, our daughter said to me: "it feels like Sunday, doesn't it?"  Quite right she was too, and it took us a few seconds to agree on what day it actually was but the question that hurt our brains the most was one posed by our son when he asked us: "is today, tomorrow?". This prompted a five minute conversation about how yes, if today were yesterday (which it wasn't) then today would indeed be tomorrow, but today is now today, which makes tomorrow, tomorrow, and not today tomorrow because today was tomorrow but only when viewed from yesterday.   At the end of this explanation (which to my mind was worthy of a pat on the back from Brian Cox although in fairness I think he's more of a hair-ruffler than a back-patter), he added neatly that if that were the case, then could he please have a tree chocolate.  Because I'd told him yesterday that he could have one tomorrow. 

So thank you, oh school timetable warlords; you have brought physics to the forefront of our conversations and inspired our son with science but if you wouldn't mind sending me a new copy of a Brief History of Time before the Easter Holiday kicks in, I'd be very grateful.

Soundtrack: How Soon is Now by The Smiths