|Been a long time since |
I've needed one of these.
A few years ago I was woken in the night by a great deal of crashing and banging coming from the kitchen. Concerned that the noise would wake our sleeping baby (and given she was a baby that didn't go in for sleeping at night very often I definitely did not want her to wake up), I decided to go downstairs and find out what the source of the noise was.
On reaching the kitchen I discovered that it was being created our cat; Phoebe. She was streaking across the room, leaping from table to work top, her back legs skidding and knocking everything within reach onto the floor before she finished with a flea-like leap to the top of the cupboards. My soothing calls for her to come down succeeded only in her hurling herself towards me. She glanced my elbow, skimmed the kitchen floor then threw herself up the stairs and into the bathroom where the crashing of pans turned into the thumping of shampoo bottles hitting the deck.
|Phoebe. She was a 'fashion forward' cat.|
By this point my husband had woken up and followed me to the bathroom to find out what the hell was going on. I explained the situation and he switched the light on to reveal Phoebe balancing precariously on the shower. Mr K took one look and said, "Toni. That's not our cat.", before heading downstairs to get a broom to usher the invading feline out of our house. The thing was, you see, is that I was very short-sighted without my glasses and so mistook the aggressive, long-jumping mad-cat for our passive, timid, lazy-puss on the basis that they had vaguely the same black and white markings. It was then I decided to get my eyes lasered and a couple of years later finally summed up the cash and the courage to do it.
Much as having your eyelids held apart a la A Clockwork Orange is an unpleasant sensation (especially having it done after you've seen the film), and having to put eye drops in every day for eight weeks is a faff, the results are astonishing. Within a couple of days the world had gone all HD on me and for the first week or two I was in complete awe at the detail I could see. It does wear off a little when you realise that you also get to enjoy crystal clear rendering of other people's nasal hair and dandruff but even with that I am still amazed with, and delighted by, what eight minutes of lasering can achieve.
It's something that I've recommended to friends and, because my husband is short-sighted, we did discuss the potential for him to have it done. He's decided against it but that's not such a bad thing as it does mean that when he takes his glasses off, it doesn't matter if I've not 'L'Orealed' myself to within an inch of my life - because to him I'm in soft focus. In fact, perhaps that's why he hasn't....maybe I ought to dig out that Volume Million mascara after all....
Soundtrack: I Can See Clearly Now - Jimmy Cliff