What every woman wants for Christmas

Darling, don't buy me a Dyson
When you're out Christmas shopping this year
There's something else I've got my eyes on
But it seems that my hints are not clear

Sweetie, do not buy me saucepans
I don't care how special they are
And I would think twice, if you think it is nice
To buy anything that's "for the car"

Lover, do not buy me lingerie
That is tacky, or lacking in taste
Yes to knickers of silk, or a similar ilk
But not with holes "strategically placed"

Wubsy, if you buy me weighing scales
You may find them wrapped round your head
I don't want to measure the impact of food pleasure
So I'd like something special instead

Something that is unique and fabulous
Something to take my breath away
Something that is killer, as my stocking filler
To give me the best Christmas Day

But don't expect me just to tell you
What I want, or to which shop you should go
If you want the surprise to light up in my eyes
I expect you to simply just know.

Duvet Wars

It's time for the Duvet War

And I want to have more

Than you

The problem is

You want more too

Image from harrycorry.com

The weather here is freezing tonight

And in our sleep we start the fight

I wake up and my left side is cold

Because you, my one true love,  have rolled

And gripped the duvet between your thighs

I shiver and wish it was King-Size

I tug the corner

But it’s stuck tight

And you are out, just like a light

All toasty, sleeping like a log

Dreaming merrily in our 10 tog

I pull hard and wake you

But I don't care

This is Duvet Wars 

And you must share!