I have heard that a man out with his children will be viewed by women as more attractive than a man out on his own. Now this really does depend on the setting; a father in a nightclub with his 5 year old twins, or a man hitch-hiking with a baby might not support this theory.....but with the father and child being in the right place it does have a point.
When I met my husband we were in our 20's and spent our time and money on clubbing, drinking and eating out. We took our hangovers to work and started our weekends on a Thursday night. We went on long, expensive holidays, laid the foundations for years of 'in-jokes' with our friends and generally did as we pleased for a good 10 years.
You think at the time that it's the best it's going to get. What more could you want but to have no ties, cash in the bank and weekends dedicated to getting silly and falling over with your mates?
Fast forward to a wet Bournemouth beach on New Year's Day in 2005. We are married, I am nearly 30 and we decide that we would like to have children. 18 months later it becomes a reality and whilst there are a million other blog posts that could be written on the topic of parenthood, oh what a life affirming thing it is to see your husband hold his child for the first time.
Seeing your other half comfort and nurture a tearful toddler, wipe up the unspeakable (and sometimes unstoppable) mess that comes from every orifice of a newborn, pull ridiculous faces to get that 'first laugh', mend bikes, play catch, sit through Mr Tumble for the tenth time, tie little laces, learn lullabies and sit on a child's chair at parent's evening with a straight face is, for me at least, one of the most fantastic parts of parenting. For all the DIY, heavy-lifting, log-splitting and fire making skills a man may have, there is something perhaps even more masculine in being a great father. Which brings us back to the start - seeing a man who is great with his children is a better advert for masculinity than a man with his shirt off showing you how 'ripped' he is. Fact.
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ps - If you're wondering who the dude in the photo is - that's my dad holding me as a baby. Long hair, denim flares and silver cowboy boots - he was a great man and a great dad. A proper 'Daddy Cool'.
Soundtrack: Daddy Cool by Boney M what's not to like about this?!
Toni, I read this sat on a train with a bag full of tinder and a knife and a saw, on the way to a day alone in the woods practising making fire, and no doubt splitting the odd log.
ReplyDeleteBut it consoles me that I made eggs 'in the special way' for my kids earlier, and read the whole book of Aesop's fables to my boy on my lap, with my nose nestled behind his chewy ear.
I find your topic today very provoking. Perhaps an acceptable manhood has been reached when there is a capacity for peacefulness and compassion. The preening, prancing predator is probably the dangerous case of a man who hasn't grown up.
I'm still up for firemaking though, as today's trip is for scouting out the forest for good den spots where we can make a big fire for food and scary stories.
Nice one Toni
Thanks Chris, great to see you here :) I hope your day in the wild woods went well and your children enjoy their adventures in the new dens you've no doubt discovered! You have reminded me to introduce my children to Aesop's fables..
ReplyDeleteHii great reading your blog
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