Thursday, 26 November 2015

Black Friday

For some Black Friday is a shopping idyll
Where you can buy everything that you 'need'
When the whole world turns into a Lidl
And we follow like dogs on a lead

Every advert that tells us "slashed prices"
Every promise "save 80 percent"
You can go get an asbo in ASDA
Queues form early - you may need a tent

You can fight over tellys in Tesco
Maraud over mascara in Boots
Or if you're a bit more upmarket
Go to Harrods and fight over suits

You can head out to Next just as dawn breaks
Fix your mind set to "that sparkly-top-that-is-half-price-with-a-slight-snag" is MINE!"
Park your car like it's just been abandoned
And hope that you don't get a fine

Or give all your money to Amazon
Have the boxes all sent your house
Shed your entire month's salary
With one little click of a mouse
Image from

These bargains won't be there tomorrow
These deals, they will not exist
These items, they won't buy themselves you know
But this shopping tale comes with a twist

You know when Black Friday is over
When your cupboards are bulging with stuff
When you think "yep, everyone's sorted
I've definitely bought enough"

There'll be an email in your inbox
A banner ad that will make you wail
And an ad on the tv announcing
"Good news people - we're having a sale!"

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