Friday, 1 June 2012

Spanx for the Memories!

I have bought my first piece of 'control' underwear...  The forthcoming wedding of our friends necessitates the wearing of a dress, and its fine jersey fabric delivers a damning verdict on my behind. 

Were I a man, I would think 'this doesn't look right so I won't buy it'.  Not me; the dress is perfect, it's my body that needs changing.  So now I have this tube of nude coloured fabric that is distantly related to the black lycra skirts that me and my friends used to wear as 18 year olds, but it is definitely not to be worn as outerwear (unless things get very silly at the reception).

As with most things I am late to this game.  Long before 'Bridget Jones' I witnessed a friend putting on control knickers over control shorts so she could wear her size 10 trousers again after having her 2nd child.  Another friend recently told me that she is going to have 'She lived and died in Spanx' etched on her there's a brand ambassador!

Underneath his clothes, my husband will wear normal underwear.  Like normal people do - no blood flow restricting, horrible coloured, surprisingly expensive compression bandage for him.  Just a nice comfy pair of boxers.  Oh how I will envy him come the end of the night.

In writing this piece I see what madness this is but I will not be beaten by a dress!  And if you happen to be at the same wedding as me and you see me listing in a corner - it's won't be because I've had a drink too many (although I will have done), it will be because I have fainted - Victorian style. 

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