Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Little Green (Dustbin) Bag

I have recently been introduced to the shopping site 'Bag Servant' and what a delicious (and potentially dangerous) place it is to spend a lunch hour.  From Biba to Balenciaga and Radley to Ralph Lauren it's got the lot, and best of all you can try them on thanks to a neat bit of technology.  I am thoroughly enjoying mentally spending money on all sorts of goodies even though I know I can only afford the sale stock.

And it's a good thing that I can't afford the high-end candy because my own relationship with handbags goes thus:

I buy one and promise faithfully that I will not let this one turn into a portable dustbin.  I momentarily covet and care for it and then I end up putting it down in some kind of puddle in the playground / at soft play (see What a Girl Wants for more on that) thereby spoiling the leather and breaking the seal on keeping my bag well cared for.

The last bag this happened to is (what was) a very lovely butter-smooth purple leather tote with silky cream lining that smelt like heaven and appeared to answer my need for a bag that would carry my laptop but still look great.  The first thing I did was over-stuff it when trying to take everything as carry-on for a business trip which resulted in a rivet popping off and one of the tags breaking.  I then put it down when taking the children trampolining; failing to spot the orange juice that had been spilled on the floor and so adding a nice dark patch to the bottom in the process.  Because of my carelessness the outside looks a little care-worn but what of the inside?

Not my bag
Well, I was hoping it might be as organised as the 'My Mummy's Bag' book that I recently bought which is full of lovely pull-out cardboard pieces that reflects what a working mother might have in her handbag (laptop, hanky, keys, mobile, picture of the children, lists of things to do, lipstick, and in a nice touch, a leopard print shoe just like the ones I have).   I bought it for my daughter as I thought is vaguely reflected what my day is like and she enjoys pretending to go off to work.  But it is a lie.

My bag is nothing like that example of organised womanhood.  Here's what is actually in it:

Now this is a real 'mummy's bag'

  • A wallet stuffed with receipts, cards, photos of the children and - in a rare state of affairs - some money!
  • Boots Double Points vouchers that I will never use on mascara because they all get spent on Calpol.
  • Debenhams Beauty Club statement which has £3.29 on it because my shopping there is now restricted to children's pants and pyjamas.
  • An old-school multi-coloured biro.  Red, Green, Blue, and Black all in one pen!!
  • My old phone, because I can't be arsed to find a proper place for it / put it in the recycling pot.
  • Free crayons from children's meals at Camp Hopson of Newbury - one of two reasons the children love going there.  The other is it has an old-fashioned fundraising box in the shape of a 3ft bear.  God knows how old it is but I hope they don't plan to remove it or I'll end up having to buy it off them.
  • One giant 'flump' which did not make it back into the bag.
  • A little bit of Clarins darling (I do make an effort sometimes)
  • One long orange balloon.
  • A mouse.  For a computer.  Although from the hole in one of the inside pockets it is possible that a live mouse has been in there.  Perhaps after the unidentifiable crumbs in the very bottom - don't say that you haven't got any lurking in the bottom of your bag!
  • It didn't contain my keys.  I never know where they are, it is my morning sport to try and find them.

I tipped the bag out, took a picture and (giant flump aside) put it all back in.  It is a portable dustbin once again.  I know I should be sorting, decanting, organising and throwing away but it just comes back.  So I'm going to use this as a public forum to ask Bag Servant to add a new service - one that turns your portable dustbin back into a beautiful bag.  No?  Oh well, I'll just have to find myself a new one but this time I promise to look after it!

Soundtrack: Little Green Bag by George Baker


  1. I do love a virtual rummage around someone elses bag - makes me feel much better about mine !

    Nice post.

    1. Thanks More 4 Mums, glad you enjoyed it. My colleague was quite distressed by the picture and has offered to sort out my bag for me - I wonder if I can get her to do the boot of my car too....

      I dropped by your website by the way, wish I had known of you when I had my two. Hope that business is going well for you.


  2. Oh dear - i always said i wouldn't have one of those bags, and yesterday i found a banana in the bottom of mine that must have been weeks old - black and squidging all over the place. And i never noticed - how did that happen?!

    On a serious note - it's well worth us mums checking and clearing out our bags pre flights - as heaven knows what security control might find in there (and confiscate of course!).

    1. Hi Clare, thanks for stopping by! A black banana is a pretty grim find. Have really enjoyed the responses to this post - we've been comparing contents in the office, the current winner is Katherine with a pair of boys socks and a Chupa Chup in the bottom of hers :)

      Stopped by your site - love the top tips, quite right that we need to be reminded to relax and let go!