Thursday, 3 September 2015

Bush Issues

You know how it is when you're planning a swim
You look down below and the bush needs a trim

You think to yourself
Would this look ok?
If I tucked it all in ...
Or would hair start to stray

With each movement I made
To get into the pool
If I wore shorts instead

Do you think I could fool

The hirsute swimmer's friend
Other swimmers in thinking
I was a surf chick?
If I had a quick shave
There's a risk I might nick

That delicate skin
And then get a rash
When I go to the pool
I want to make a splash

With my elegant strokes
Not looking like Fozzie
Is hiding away 

Down the front of my cossie

If pull down the bottom, there's a chance it might hide
My topiary
But if I go down the slide....
It will ride up and show I'm too busy relaxing

To spend time on plucking and shaving and waxing

And then I see blokes

With big hairy guts
All covered in pubes from their throats to their nuts
Who don't need to be shaved
Yet when it comes to my bits
They must be so carefully managed 

And it's....

Very unfair and a little bit weird
That my foof must be covered
But not a man's beard!

The filter gets clogged
With the hair from their backs
The pool would be cleaner
If men all got waxed!

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